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[04 Nov 2007|01:53am] |
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so. im 20 now. and taylors dead. thats about it.
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| What the fuck. |
[21 Dec 2006|03:39pm] |
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life is not cool at times. right now, is one of those times.
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| hm. |
[02 Jun 2006|10:48am] |
Still with Taylor. It's been about a year now. Still happy with him. Still attracted to him like no other.
Gotta go to work.
Peace.
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| Livejournal Livejournal... It's been so long. |
[17 Mar 2006|12:18pm] |
So... I'm sitting here in Tay's apartment with his kitty all alone. Taylor is at work until 5 & I can't leave because I don't have a key to lock the door. But it's okay. I'm just chillin' watching cooking shows.
When Tay gets home we is going to International Mall.
Valentines day was good. I worked all day. I said Happy Valentines Day to every table I sat which means I probably said it about 80 times. Haha. After work, I went to Taylor's and we spent the night watching movies, eating pizza, and just chillin' together. We drank too so I was pretty tipsy. Fun night.
Shells is going well.
I'm super hungry. I'm gonna go see if I can get something delivery.
Peace.
P.S.- How long should I wait for him to say I love you?
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[08 Mar 2006|02:42pm] |
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Got a new job at Shells. I started today. How Interesting.
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| Holy shitaki Mushrooms. |
[20 Feb 2006|10:01am] |
...Man. I almost got into a huge car accident! So I was leavin' Taylor's apt... & I was stopped to take a left on Habana and I was waiting for the cars to pass so I could drive through a gap of cars. There was a school bus stopped to my right so all the cars were stopping. A car to my left slowed down so I could go so I didn't see any cars comin' so I kinda just dashed out. (I'm the epitome of a horrible driver) and When I was going through the lanes, a car missed me going like 50 by an inch. I saw the car coming straight at my side and I floored itttttt. Damn. That woulda sucked if I just didn't floor and got dominated by that car, Taylor was in his truck behind me & that woulda been shitty for him to witness. I'm gonna die at a young age. Don't believe me? hahaha. I definitely should not have a license.
How's that for an update?
Life is pretty good right now.
I like cooking shows.
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[19 Feb 2006|01:37pm] |
God......I Like him SOOOOOOOOO much. It's starting to scare me. I haven't felt like this in a while. Last thing I wanna do is fuck it up...............
Where's the line between like and love. I can feel that I'm pretty close to crossing the line.
I think I'm gonna start drawing or painting again with all this free time I have.
I'm done.
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| Reminder. |
[07 Feb 2006|09:26pm] |
Everyone should show the people they know only kindness and love because you never know who could die at any moment. It could be someone you barely know.. or your mom... or your best friend.
Death is so unpredictable, and it takes the best of us.
Pretty much, Never take life for granted, Always live today as if it were your last. (That phrase is so overused but so true.)
Do it for this kid:
It just scares me to think that anyone could die at any moment.
"Death is a population control." -Brian.
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| Bad news. |
[06 Feb 2006|11:44am] |
Brian, A friend of mine overdosed last night. He was a really cool kid. I wish I would've gotten to know him better. May he rest in peace...
Cory was really close to him... & so was Taylor. I wish I had a way to talk to them and make them feel better... Maybe feeling better only comes with time. I know that's how it was for me when a loved one died... None of my friends could make me feel better, I just had to wait it out kinda.... Still waiting... but yeah.
Damn...... such a cool kid.
Ever since I heard, I've had this distrought unhappy look on my face... Kinda expressionless and blank at the same time.
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| Bummer... |
[06 Feb 2006|05:17am] |
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music |
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Dan Shaffer on ABC news. |
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I got turned down again. I'm just.. not gonna go to Prom.
No big deal right?
...Right.
I went to bed early last night. Like at 9. Which was nice. I usually can't get to bed until 3 am. But yeah, I woke up at 2am... quite parched. So I got up and got a drink, Big mistake. I couldn't get back to sleep for 3 hours so now I'm sitting on my computer at 5:20 am watching the news and eating chicken noodle soup. I'm actually enjoying myself quite a bit right now. I'm relaxed.
Me & Megan talked about the summer today. We realized that it...wasn't that great. We got fucked up everyday... & it's because when we weren't fucked up, we were upset. Like the entire summer was a bad trip. We never went home. It's like I didn't have a family anymore. My life was smacking me in the face and I was realizing so many different things about growing up. I think I grew up a lot after all that mess.
I wish my brother would live at home. I miss him. I wanna get better aquainted with him... Maybe talk to him a little bit.
Today is Alex's birthday! I remembered all on my own. I remember I had a crush on Alex when I was in 7th grade and one time we went to the rec center... & I asked him what his birthday was, and he said January 6th. Lol. I got some good memory for some random shit. I can't remember what I did yesterday though. Weird how that works.
It should be a good day today. I'll go to school... Go home. Shower. Hang out with Alex maybe and give him a b-day hug. Then at 5 I'll go see Taylor... then I don't know. Maybe I'll go to Jen's party tonight. We shall see. Mmmhmm.
... I'm gonna go find something to do. Peace nigga's.
EDIT:
Does anyone remember that one movie with Ben or Fred Savage... And it's about a monster under the bed. But the monster was this 'cool hip monster'... And there was this huge world under his bed with a bunch of monsters. I wanna see that again.
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| "Good night everybody, Everybody, Everywhere." |
[05 Feb 2006|12:03pm] |
So I just tried on my spring wet suit. It fits rather well. Very toight. But I like it. I don't look too goofy in it. Now all I need is my board from Cocoa And I can start going to the gulf with J-boy & Pat to surf. I need to.
I'm trying to be healthy these days. I'll cut back on the cokes. I'm gonna start going running at night. Last night I attempted to go running... But I ended up just walking around the block for a half-hour.
I'm sure the healthy thing is just a phase though and soon I will be back to drinking coke and smoking cig.. after cig... after cig.
So last night, My uncle John treated the entire family to a niceee dinner at bern's Steakhouse. I'd never been there, It was absolutely amazing. Fancy fancy. We had like a 5 course dinner, and then we went upstairs and ate dessert. It was so gourmet. & Everything was so good.
I try to ignore the fact that my Uncle's not going to be around for much longer. I try not to think about it. My dad says he will go soon. & I found out the other day that he almost died two weeks ago. No one tells me anything. It kinda resembles when my mom's cancer was bad, they kept everything from me as if they wanted to protect me. But I'd rather know. I didn't give him a hug good bye last night, but I should've.
Sappyness. Sorry.
So school... Yeah... School. It's bullshit. I'm at school because I fucked up last semester and now I have to take English 4 honors again and math again, Only the 2nd quarter of them though. So those classes don't even start for another 9 weeks. So right now, I'm taking the most bullshit classes you are able to. Fashion Essentials, Child Development, Office Assistant, and OJT. All of which I did not choose. Oh well though. I get out of school at 12:30 now. That's good. But my guidance counselor wants me to go to night school at TBT for math so I can get that done and not have to take it in 9 weeks.
I want to go to Prom. But I don't want to go if I don't have a date. I think I might just have to ask one of my friends. & we can go as friends. That would be fine. I want someone that I have feelings for to go with me, like Tay tay but that would be just so weird for him... He's a 20 year old and he wouldn't know anyone. So I guess I'll think about who to ask. I've never really been to a dance with a date. & Prom is supposed to be special. So I gotta think hard.
I think I'll go do something productive now...
( My kitty & Taylor's Kitty. )
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| New Year... New Pictures.. |
[02 Feb 2006|01:44pm] |
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 amused |
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music |
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Led Zeppelin |
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I wanna start this year well. I wanna start over pretty much. & be a really good person. I think I am a pretty good person already, I try to be. But sometimes, I can probably be pretty shitty.
So.... I partied a lot. That was fun. New years was fun. I went to Wolf's huge party that I had been hearing about for weeks in advance. I saw everyone! & everyone was wasted. My favorites out of the drunk bunch of people were definitely Amanda, Melissa and Amelia! I love those girls. I didn't get drunk at all. Lol. Poor me. But I did rush to Taylor's at like 11:45 to kiss him at 12o'clock. Then I stayed there. Good night.
Last night was probably one of the funnest (is that a word?) nights of the break. & the last night. :-(
I went to Brett's. It was fun. I love that house. I missed it a lot. & I saw ADAM! Yesss! The hippie I used to hang out with everyday. I absolutely love that boy, he's one of a kind. & I definitely need to chill with him more.
I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty fucked up last night & going to bed so early was kind of a dissapointment lol. I wanted to party. But It's okay. There's always the weekends now. FUCK SCHOOL man. I don't even wanna think about it. lol.
Alright alright... Pictures.
( Some friends. )
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[27 Jan 2006|11:59am] |
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What it is. Last night was pretty fun. Just the normal stuff though. Went to Taylor's. Tyler's. & Wolf's. Hung out with Megano & Gray. Then Adam, Tyler & Nick, And then Tay. I have some okay pictures. Just to sum up the night.
( Pictures of last night. )
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| It's Christmas? |
[23 Jan 2006|04:00pm] |
Man... Christmas has totally lost it's spirit. For me.
I woke up sick today. =( Really sick. I have a pretty bad cold.
I went Christmas shopping yesterday with Noelia. That was good. I got a stereo for my dad. An EB games gift card for my brother. A crystal thingy that says MOM on it for my Mom. A Zen Garden & ceiling star thing for Megan, & A shirt & XBOX 360 game for Tay. I'm not done yet. I feel really good getting stuff for people. I like to show them I care.
I was supposed to get myself some stuff for Christmas from my parents with my mom's credit card. I got a purse & a necklace. I couldn't find anything I wanted. I really need some sneakers though. & I wanna get some more stuff for Tay.
Ahhh things are going well with him. I'm gonna head over to his place in a little bit. It's so fuckin' weird when you go Christmas shopping for someone that you really like a lot, I just wanted to get him everything. Like, I'd see boxers, or socks, or cologne, or anything & I'd have to force myself not to get it. I want to pamper him. lol.
I have no money. =( I can't wait til the 29th. Pay day. I better be rollin' in the green.
I think I will go lay in bed until someone calls my phone.
Peace.
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| Last night..... & Cocoa. |
[21 Jan 2006|11:28am] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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Led Zep- Dazed and confused |
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The day before yesterday... Which was.. Monday. I had a day off so I went to the beach. Jboy went with me. That was fun. The car ride there was pretty fun.
Then we got there, We went surfing. I almost got hyothermia cause I didn't have a wet suit. and then we realized that he only had one bowl left of pot. So we were screwed. We drove around lookin' for nigg's on the side of the road, but wow.. there aren't any in Cocoa Beach. We strolled around at Ron Jon's & Wal Mart. I got this kick ass Pink Floyd jacket from Wal Mart. It has the Dark Side of The Moon tour of '73 on the back.
I like it.
& the back.
But it's okay with the Mary Jane problem. Johnathan used his skills of persuasion and got Jacob & Trevin to drive all the way over to Cocoa and stay the night. They brought us a half-eighth. Woohoo. So I had good sleep that night. Then at 7am Pat burst's into the master bedroom door and says "Is this yo house?!" Because him, Jeff, and Eric were looking for my condo. They surfed. I slept.
Then we drove home. I worked til 10.
After work, I went to see my baby, Tayyylooorrr. I got him a shot glass from Ron Jon's because he needs it.
After I went to Tay's, I met up with Megan & Gray @ Jen Nebolsky's party. BC Alex & Kevin called me up & told me to go. It was pretty fun. Alex & Kevin were just playing around with me the entire time. They were WASTED. I felt very loved though. I sat down for 5 seconds and Kevin lays on top of me while Alex pulls my shoes off and pours beer on my head. Allen was wasted too. He was doing Keg Stands. I've never seen that kid so wasted. It was hilarious, Allen's my boyyy. lol.
I miss those boys. I need to start callin' them more.
After that, I headed over to TBell & then Tyler's where I chilled with Adam & Tyler. Tyler's new room looks tight. Very fresh. I got my own bed @ Tyler's. My own room. because Brad moved out. It was... luxurious. Haha.
Okay, I gotta get ready for work. Then post-work I'm going to Taylah's. Woohoo!
oXoXoXo.
EDIT:
I had to add this picture. It's me, my little cousin Katie, & my brother. I was playin' that Super Mario. PImpin' from day one.
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| Bob Loblaw. |
[18 Jan 2006|12:19pm] |
Work officially sucks. I'm workin' down to the bone. I was so worn out yesterday during work, I was about to collapse.
Thank god I had last night to do whatever I want & thank god I don't have to go to work today until 4!
Oh yeah, but I can't go to Cocoa... Because I work tonight... & I got Dan to take my shift tomorrow so I can have a day off. I work all week. Boo. That's gonna kill me.
I even work Christmas Eve... Til 12! Holy shit... I have family I have to see that day... & sick family nonetheless that will probably pass away soon.
I think I'm getting a cold.
My brother went out yesterday & got me a present! That's right. He still doesn't talk to me, but I feel so awesome that he did that. I just wanna go up to him a hug him but I'm afraid to. I haven't talked to the kid in a LONG time.
I have tomorrow off.... I wanna see if I can go to Cocoa for maybe just one day. It depends on what time I work on Wednesday.
I feel like some of my guy friends are gaining feelings for me... I don't know. Megan noticed it too. It's like, When I broke up with Tay, a few of them changed... & what not. I don't know. Nevermind.
I'm spending the night at Taylor's tonight. Woohoo!
I hope I don't have to work til 12 tonight... Hopefully it's just 10. But I can almost guarantee it's 12. Damnitt.
I'm out.
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| First day of Christmas break. |
[16 Jan 2006|04:48pm] |
&&& I am gonna be workin' my little booty off. When I say that, I mean... 6 - 12:30 tonight & then 9 - 5 tomorrow! Boooo that.
Hopefully I have Sunday off, Cause then I will be taking a 3 day trip to Cocoa mother fuckin' beach. I don't know if anyone's gonna come with me... But I hope someone can.
My Team Sports exam was extremely easy... So I got really bored for the last 2 hours of it & took a couple picture's. Damn, I feel like I say that exact same thing in a lot of my entries.
Funny faces...
Excitement.
Imagine a random girl in a big room making faces at her cell phone.
Reefer Madness kicks ass. Coolest Musical ever.
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